Updates from Ed Ross

Today was a great day of rest. After breakfast I chilled out on the grass outside the house, enjoying the beautiful sunshine and clear blue sky. I read the whole of the Biblical book 'Ephesians', which was fun. It speaks of how God has planned for us to be a part of His Kingdom. He is in control, and eventually, everything will be back to how He wants it. Now we as Christians should live a life worthy of the name, and show in our actions what we know in out hearts.

In the afternoon, my parents came to see me. I'm very different to the other students on the YWAM DTS course I'm on: most of them are doing this course and moving away from their parents. For me, I've lived the past 8 years away from my parents while at university and working in Portsmouth, and now is a chance to meet up with them more often, as they live about 10 minutes or so from Holmsted Manor. The weather has been excellent today, which meant we were able to have a nice time outside in a nearby village (Lindfield), watching people feed fish in the local pond, and catching up on recent events.

Just now I had an excellent curry and pizza meal cooked by one of the leaders on the course, and we were joined by two of the other male students. Together we will be meeting during the course to chat about how things are going and pray, so it was a fun way to get to know each other a bit more.

Also today I got to speak to my girlfriend on the phone for a bit, which was great. God has an amazing sense of timing, which you just have to accept some times. All the time I was in Portsmouth, things might not have been right between us, but just as I left-the very day I left, we finally got together. But now I am here, and she is still there! So we just have to text/email/call each other to have regular contact, and she will very kindly come to see me some times too. I just have to expect that this time apart will help us when we are together more regularly again.

I hope you have had a good week, and that next week will be great too. Thanks for reading.

I'd like to start off this post by repeating something our course leader said today: "Eternity is too short to be with God".

Today is the last week-day of my first week on the YWAM DTS course at Holmsted Manor, Sussex, England. It has been a tremendous week, which has set the stage for an exciting, challenging, and rewarding few months.

Last night, after I had posted yesterday's blog entry, I realised that I had left my phone cover downstairs in the common room. Given that most of the lights were off in the house, I took my torch with me, so I could make it all the way downstairs without tripping down the stairs. After a while, I got to a section where the lights were on out in the hall, and when I got to the common room, the lights were on in the hall I was in. I'm not repeating this story for it's own sake, but just to say it got me thinking: the Bible says: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105). The torch I took with me acted as God's word can in our lives. Also, the amount of light I had on my journey reminded me of the way it can be with God sometimes. At first all I had was the light from the torch, and some times, all you have is the smallest of voices from God. As I walked towards my destination, there was more and more light, and sometimes, you can hear God more clearly than at other times. However, you need to be on the right path to begin with-you have to be on the way to God. Where there is darkness, light will come and the darkness can not stand against it. God's light will have the victory. The motto of Portsmouth, the city I spent the last 8 years in before starting this course, is "Heaven's light, our guide". I pray for the day everyone there would live by that motto.

Back to today! Quiet time today was based around Psalm 103, focusing on verses 8 to 12: "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.". This is another great reminder of God's love for each one of us. He has every right to deal with us according to the way we have treated Him-in that we have rejected Him, and abandoned His authority. It is the best thing on Earth to know, with your heart, not just your head, that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8). As I continue with this course, I find myself more and more enamoured with God. Before this course, I had a safe life, with a job where people liked me, and a great social life, but being here has already helped me experience more of what really matters than I remember for quite some time: God's love and his voice in my life. I don't think I could ever put in to words the way I am feeling right now. Everything here is just so right. And I wonder: why me? Why has God seen fit to bring me to this place, while billions of others suffer. I don't know why, in a way, but I know in this course I'll have opportunities to help some of thos less advantaged as me, and that will be great too. Also, I think: why not me? God's love is for everyone, and I was as much a person with my back to God as anyone else. I don't deserve any of this because of anything I've done, it is all down to who God is and what He wants for my life. I just pray I can do the things He wants me to, and that I will be the person He wants me to be.

We then had our second 'session' of sung worship. I appreciated this very much. I once heard a sermon where the preacher asked the question "Why would God encourage us to worship Him?", and then went on to explain that it is for our benefit, not just God's. We have all been made to worship. God has given us the freedom to choose what we worship. Some choose money, some power, some chocolate! However, we only find the true meaning of worship when we worship the creator of all the good things: God Himself. During the worship today, something happened which I have almost come to expect during sung worship times for me-I can't remember more than one or two times in the last few months where it hasn't happened: tears started streaming down my face again. I'm certainly not unhappy during these time of sung worship. They are tears of joy and a sign of my awe of God. As I just mentioned, I find it simply incredible that He would single me out for such remarkable experience. I would love for each one of you reading this to know the joy of coming close to your maker, the one who gives meaning to your life, and can set you free from the past, doubt, guilt, regrets, and anything else that may hinder your relationship with him. The other thing that happened was that I had a real sense of wanting to fly while worshiping. It wasn't enough to be confined to the floor. I wanted to worship in three dimensions. It bought to mind the title of an album released a few years ago by the worship leader of my church in Portsmouth: "Let Go: Learn to Fly". I think I am now learning what the title really is talking about. (Just in case you are wondering, I didn't actually fly today!)

The quiet time and sung worship made me feel hugged by God-in His arms and being given this time to rest. Again, I just hope that you will be able to have your own experiences with God that will help you to feel His love too. I later likened this time to being like a milkshake: bubbly, full of flavour, and sweet.

Then at about 11am, we started our first session on Descipleship. We heard how Christianity is not just about affirming beliefs, i.e. intellectual ascent, but it is about following Jesus in your life: his ways, deeds and experiences should be what we are aiming to see in our lives too. I thought of the phrase "Your lifestyle over His Lordship?". Do you really want to pick an easy life over the one that has been hand picked by the one who loves you, and accepts you no matter what you do? The course leader mentioned an example of a trapeze artist letting go, and being caught by their partner on another trapeze. If we can't fully let go of the things that we are holding on to, we can't let God take hold of us fully, and know what it is to have Him in control of our direction. This again got me thinking of "Let go: Learn to Fly".

Our practical task today was to think about, then write down a few things that we felt we should give up now we are here. We then had to nail the pieces of paper we wrote our lists on to a wooden cross we have in the classroom. The nail I chose had dried up bits of paint on it. When I hammered the nail in to the wood, the paint fell off the nail. I took this as a visual reminder of the nails that went in to the hands of Jesus on the cross: even the nails that were used by humanity to fix their maker to a murder weapon were washed in His blood. On the cross, Jesus said "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34). He is so willing to forgive us for anything we have done, even to the point of forgiving us for killing Him.

The last example of the day we were shown was an acorn. The leader explained that he does not see the acorn, he sees the potential for a huge tree, firmly rooted and with many branches, producing fruit. He said he wants each of us to know that in our lives too.

The afternoon shaped up quite similarly to yesterday: I got a bit of a work out cleaning the toilets (and I actually got to clean the toilets today, not just the floors), and then I played football for a couple of hours. In the first activity, I once again found myself realising how blessed I am in my life, and in the second, I discovered I might be quite good as a goal keeper! One of the reasons I chose to do this course was to change my lifestyle and get some exercise, so it is nice to find out that I can actually be quite good at something to do with football!

Dinner was also amazing. Thankfully the weather was good enough to be able to sit outside. I sat, and saw rabbits and pheasants in the field I was in, as well as a wide variety of trees and plants. God is so amazing. I've left my job, and ended up living in a magnificent mansion, surrounded by beautiful nature. Things that other strive their whole life to attain, but often burn out before they reach their goal. And what's more, those are just added extras on this course. I'm also getting great teaching and many opportunities to serve, and I'm meeting a mixture of fascinating people, all with great stories of their own.

I really ought to have written this on my laptop rather than my phone-I think my fingers might recover after a night's rest though! Thanks again for reading. I understand there may be quite a lot to read through here. I hope it is worth it. I'd like it that one day after I have finished the course, I can revisit this time through these postings too. Please feel free to add a comment to today's posting.






"Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."

I've only been on the YWAM DTS course since Saturday, but I feel like I've been here a lot longer than a week. Every day, I get more and more glad that I found this course when I did. Even now, there has been so much good that has come from me doing this course. I have been so blessed, and have also been able to bless others. It is so easy to feel God strongly here. Holmsted Manor is such an awe inspiring place to live, I just hope at some point I remember to leave: it would be so easy to stay here and forget about the outside world, which would be wrong, as the point of these courses, at least in part, is to help us live out our faith in the wider world.

Today was another fun day, full of so much that makes me glad that I am here. After breakfast, we had our regular quiet time. Today we looked at Psalm 42, which starts "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?". It is a great reminder of how each one of us can long for intimacy with the living God who made us all. It is almost as if God is addictive: I've certainly found myself wanting to spend more and more time praising God here as we learn more about Him and as we spend time with Him. I also spent some of my quiet time reading a book we have all been given to read during the course, "Blue like jazz" by Donald Miller. This is a collection of essays describing the author's journey to faith, and walk with God. I've only read three or four chapters so far, so I've got a long way to go. The book has already made me think about my life though. We need to write our thoughts from reading in a separate book report, so I won't elaborate here.

In our lectures today, we studied 'intercession', which is the act of pleading with God on behalf of others: 'standing in the gap', as it were. The practical exercises were quite interesting. The first exercise involved us splitting into groups of 6 or so, and being given a newspaper clipping from this week's news. We read through the article, and prayed for those involved. My group's article was about the recent school shooting incident, so it was unfortunately quite easy to find things to pray about. The second exercise was quite different, but still very beneficial. We were again split in to groups, and had to pretend we were in a different country-one which is hostile to Christians. Our group was given India. We were given a clue on a piece of paper, and asked to go and find the correct location around the Manor based on the clue. We were also told there were people going around who we could not trust. So we set off, attempting to solve the clue and find the correct location. Eventually, we ran in to one of the 'untrustworthy' people, who captured one of our group. When they returned to the group, they had a cross on their hand, but they couldn't say why. We then carried on seeking the correct location, and taking in some more of the fantasic scenery around the Manor at the same time. After some more time, we were stopped by one of the leaders (who we still though we could not trust, as part of the game), who told us the game was finished and that we should follow him to the correct location. Even though we thought that perhaps they were trying to trick us, we went with him as we were ready for the end anyway. It turned out the game really had finished, and we were lead to the others, and the correct location. The point of the game was to give us a sense of what it would be like for a Christian trying to get to a prayer meeting in a country closed to the gospel. It turned out that the cross on our team member's hand represented him having been arrested on the way to the meeting. After this exercise, we went back and prayed for the situation in the country we were given. I don't know how much you know about the current violent situation towards Christians in India, but it is worth investigating. We might think we are having a bad day from time to time in The West, but really we have life so easy compared to people there, who's lives are in danger just for professing a belief in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

After lunch, we resumed our 'community care' duties, which saw me mop the floors in all the toilets and shower rooms in the Manor. This was a great way to stay warm, which will become an important activity as we move in to the English winter. After that, I took part in another activity which helped me stay warm: a nice game of football. It was quite fun to get out and active, though I know I need to keep it up to get fitter for the outreach phase and beyond.

After dinner we had a 'fireside chat', where we discussed, and came to decisions about dating and drinking during our time on the course. On the first topic, I was just so pleased that I didn't have to worry either way. I have been extremely blessed through my relationship with a girl, which in part came about because of my decision to leave Portsmouth and take this course. This new relationship is such an amazing gift and I am so thankful to God for bringing us together. On the second subject, alcohol, I was also partially quite ambivolent. I do drink, but not that often, so I would have been happy with whatever decision we came to as a group. We concluded that we would not drink during the course. It is funny how I now find myself wanting a drink more than usual! I guess that is just the way things go: as soon as you can't have something, you want it even more. This has been the pattern of the world since it started though-God let Adam and Eve have an entire garden to explore, but they were drawn to the one tree which had the fruit they were not allowed to eat of. I know it will be good in the lobg run to set aside drinking for this time, there would not be many opportunities to do it, and the course is not very long anyway, so I shouldn't struggle too much.

Which leads me to know, where I have been writing this entry while in the community 'chill out' room, chatting to the staff and other students along the way, so it has taken quite a long time and I am now quite tired! Thanks for reading all the way to the end, your support and your prayers. This course is turning out really well so far. Praise God!

"Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."

This is still just the first week of my YWAM DTS course at Holmsted Manor, Sussex, England, and I'm loving it. Today we experienced the power of God in our teaching sessions, and the 'devotional' periods for reflection on His word.

After breakfast we had our 'quiet times' again. Today we were all given sheets of paper with messages from the staff which they felt were given to them by God before we came to the school. I really connected with what was said, and saw how it fitted with how I feel now. I really appreciate the fact that the quiet times are built in to the timetable. It can often be hard to find a few spare minutes in a "normal" day to just sit still and spend time with God. To be able to come here and have a whole hour of this time every morning is fantastic.

After a break, we listened to several presentations from local outreach leaders. There was youth work, street evangelism, leading services in an immigration detention centre and a homeless ministry. Once we had heard all the presentations, we were asked to give our first, second and third choice of which we wanted to be involved with for the rest of the course. Again, I'll let you know when I know which I have been accepted to.

After another break, we resumed our lesson on hearing God's voice. This was a great lesson and I was very much encouraged by it. After some of the teaching, we were asked to take an envelope with our name on it, and we were told inside was the name of a student. We had to go and ask God for a message for that student to encourage them (without opening the envelope to see who it was). I think we were all encouraged by the messages we received, and it was a very powerful tool to help us hear God's voice. After that, we took part in another amazing practical exercise, where we all got to ask God for a message or vision for another student while they were there. The message I was given was so accurate to how I am feeling, it could, in my opinion, have only been God who had given it (the people giving the messages were blindfolded at the time, so they couldn't know who it was they were talking to, and have that affect what was said). When it was my turn to give a message, even before someone came to me, I had a vision of a modern windmil, but I wasn't sure what that was about. When we shared a few of the things we saw at the end, I talked about the windmil, and was then happy to hear that someone else had also had a vision of a similar windmil! I shouldn't be surprised by such things though: God is bigger than we could possibly imagine, and if he sees fit to give a vision to 2 people in a room, He can certainly do it. The message I received mentioned about how even though I may have heard a lot of the course content before, I can still learn from it now too. I think I had mentioned something very similar in yesterday's blog entry!

After lunch, we got cracking on with our 'community care' projects. I am on the toilets and shower room team, so it is my job, along with two others, to make sure those areas are nice and clean each day. It is funny what things God does to prepare you for a course like this: only a few months ago, I was using some of the same window washing techniques at church that I used today for the windows and mirrors in the toilets.

Once we had cleaned all the toilets and shower rooms, we had the final session of sharing our journeys to faith. Again, a lot of powerful and emotional stories were told, and again I became so thankful to God for protecting me in my childhood from so many damaging things. These times got me thinking about youth work again. Youth workers have such a very important role to play. Childhood is a pivotal moment in a person's life. The decisions made and actions taken as a child can affect a person for their whole life. I'm so glad I have found a relationship with the creator of the universe, who can heal the pain of the past, and give hope for the future. He has bought back the time spent on rubbish in the past, and enables you to live each day in His power and under His authority. You don't need to worry about the opinion of others-only God's view of you matters. Youth workers can help young people to see their place in God's plan, and help them find the motivation to press on in to what God wants for them.

Then we had dinner: a nice traditional English Shepherd's (or maybe Cottage) pie.

I'm still so thankful for being here. The YWAM DTS is such an amazing course. It is able to cater to new Christians and older believers alike. I've given up a lot to be here, but it was certainly worth while.

After breakfast today we all found peaceful places in and around the building to have what is known as a 'quiet time'. This is a time to be with God and to seeks His will and message for you. Today I sat down near the beautiful stream at the back of Holmsted Manor and started to contemplate the Bible verses we had been given to think about: Philippians 4:4-7. Eventually the stream in front of me cought my attention. It is designed in several sections with small waterfalls letting the water flow downhill. I felt there was a message in the water. We are all like the individual pools: we start off with a certain amount of water (the water representing blessings). If we do nothing with the water, it would grow stagnant and worthless. However, we can allow the water to flow out from us to the next level down, and be a blessing to them. If we do that without letting ourselves receive from above, then we would eventually run dry. I hope that makes sense to you!

After the quiet times, we returned to the lecture hall, where we studies the 17 'YWAM Values' and the community values. This was actually quite fun, as we got to watch clips of several movies and TV shows to guess which value applied to which clip. I started to cry a little bit during a clip from the TV show 24 though! There were a couple of reasons for that, I think. First, it was a scene where the main character was about to sacrifice himself to save his nation (which has striking parallels to the message of Christianity- that Jesus died for the whole world, to pay the price that must be paid for us to get back in to the relationship with God that we were deigned for). The second reason is based around the fact that the first time I saw that episode, I was still recovering from some medical situations that affected me for a couple of months last year. Funny how something as 'macho' as 24 can have such an effect on you!

After a break, we moved on to a couple of sessions about Hearing God's Voice. I think these counted as the first main teaching sessions of the DTS course, and were pretty impressive. Although i've already covered a lot of the subjects before in various church meetings/Christian Union meetings/Alpha groups, it was good to hear it again, and get to hear what the rest of the group had to say. I think we all learnt something from the sessions, and heard from God through the activities we took part in and through prayer.

After lunch (a rather nice macaroni cheese with vegatables -including the first taste of parsnips for some of the American students), we watched a couple of health and safety videos which reminded me of the 'mandatory reading' health and safety videos I used to have to watch each month in my old job. They had some quite useful information in them though: all about keeping food safe and keeping bad bacteria away from it. We also had a discussion about 'Community Care', which is the daily programme of work duties we each need to participate in to keep Holmsted Manor and surrounding grounds looking so nice. We gave our preferences of which team we wanted to be in, and will find out if we got our first choice soon. I think it is a good idea that the students get to take a part in the cleaning up on a regular basis. It will help us respect the location.

After another break, we heard from more students about how we came to follow Jesus. This was another powerful and emotional time, and once again I was/am so thankful to God for protecting me from so much in the world. Given the number of temptations and traps laid out in life, I really have managed to steer clear of some quite damaging activities.

Once we had finished dinner, we took part in a fantastic murder mystery. We were split up in to teams, which helped us get to be with people we had not met as often so far, and had to go and interview various staff members posing as suspects in a murder enquiery. This was a lot of fun, though I may have gotten carried away with asking lots of questions. It seemed to pay off at the end though, as our team was the only one to accuse the guilty party, and suggest the correct motive!

It is starting to feel like I have been here a lot longer than 4 days. This really is my home now. I'm so glad I chose to do this YWAM DTS course. It was certainly hard to give up my former life in Portsmouth, and I miss the people there, but it is great to think that I am now doing what God wants me to do.

Thanks again for your comments. Please feel free to add more comments on this post.

Today was the first week-day of the YWAM DTS course, so we had to get
up early (though still an hour later than the time I used to get up
for work), and get ready for our first 'lecture', which was really
just an introduction to the rest of the course. I was really pleased
when thinking about how I will now be in a mission team helping a
local overseas church, having been blessed by so many overseas teams
coming to help with my church in Portsmouth.
After lunch we took a tour around the base building and surrounding
(beautiful) grounds. Even though I'd taken a tour a couple of weeks
ago, it was great to see the whole building again, and I got to see
some more locations which I had not seen the first time around.
Holmsted Manor is worth coming to visit for an afternoon, even just to
see the magnificent scenery. It is such a fantastic place to be, and
I'm still amazed to be able to call it 'home'. I should be abke to get
some photos of the grounds online when I get on a better internet
connection.
Just before dinner, I took part in a fun game of volleyball, which we
all enjoyed despite experiencing a little bit of the famed English
rain.
In the evening the leaders and some of the students told us the
stories of how they turned to Jesus and decided to follow Him in their
lives. There were a lot of amazing stories of peoples' dramatic
childhoods, and it showed me that even before I knew God for myself,
He had protected me from so many damaging things.
The leaders are still confirming locations for the two-month overseas
mission section of the course. Once the list of potential locations is
published, we will have a few hours to pray about where we feel we
should go, and then let the leaders know ourdesired location. I really
don't have much of a preference (as far as I can tell). I think
somewhere outside of Europe would be good as I have already been to
many places there, but then again, it could be good to go there again,
as this trip will not be like any other I've had in the past. (Also it
would be good to go somewhere I can still connect to the internet via
my phone, as I am doing now, so I can keep you informed and up to date
with my progress on that stage of the course.) When I know for sure
wher I will be going, I'll be sure to let you all know too.
I would like to thank everyone who has added a comment to previous
entries, and ask for even more. I don't think I can get around to
responding to everyone now, but rest assured I am doing my best to
read everything, and very much appreciate all the kind words.
A couple of quick prayer requesst: 1) that I can get closer and feel
more a part of the team of students. I think being several years older
than moat of them isn't helping, but I just want to be able to forget
that and get stuck in to building strong friendships while I have the
chance to meet so many people from all over the world and 2) that God
would lead me to the right choice about where I should choose for the
overseas mission trip. This time last year, I had no ideas that I'd
soon be jetting off to some exotic location, so it has been pretty odd
for me to find myself in this position.
Thanks again for reading and for your prayers....please feel free to
add another comment to this entry.

Today started with a welcome Full English Breakfast, and from there we
moved in to a relaxing time of drinking tea and coffee. Following that
we rested, then had an enjoyable roast chicken Sunday lunch.
In the afternoon, we took a walk in the fantastic countryside (photos
to follow when I'm on a different internet connection). I felt so
amazingly happy on the walk: so much like this really is the place I
should be at right now. The weather here is fantastic at the moment,
which is such a blessing too.
After tea (sandwiches, fruit and crisps), we played some fun 'getting
to know you' games, which actually did reveal some quite interesting
things. For example: I can carry a man about a third taller than me!
Maybe not every day can be quite as enjoyable as this one, but it has
been a great first full day on the YWAM DTS course.
Thank you once again for all your support and prayers (and thanks to
all of you guys on Twitter). Again, please feel free to add a comment
to this entry.

Today was the first day of my DTS course. I arrived at the site at
about 3:30pm and took my luggage to my room. I then met my room mates,
and we went downstairs to enjoy the beautiful sunshine. On the lawn at
the back of the manor, I met some more of the YWAMers, and we had fun
playing volleyball.
Dinner was then served: a nice BBQ.
In the evening, we all met together and introduced ourselves. It was
good to get to know a bit about everyone, but I think there will be
much more to find out over the next few months!
Thanks for reading. Please feel free to add a comment to this post.