I'd like to start off this post by repeating something our course leader said today: "Eternity is too short to be with God".

Today is the last week-day of my first week on the YWAM DTS course at Holmsted Manor, Sussex, England. It has been a tremendous week, which has set the stage for an exciting, challenging, and rewarding few months.

Last night, after I had posted yesterday's blog entry, I realised that I had left my phone cover downstairs in the common room. Given that most of the lights were off in the house, I took my torch with me, so I could make it all the way downstairs without tripping down the stairs. After a while, I got to a section where the lights were on out in the hall, and when I got to the common room, the lights were on in the hall I was in. I'm not repeating this story for it's own sake, but just to say it got me thinking: the Bible says: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105). The torch I took with me acted as God's word can in our lives. Also, the amount of light I had on my journey reminded me of the way it can be with God sometimes. At first all I had was the light from the torch, and some times, all you have is the smallest of voices from God. As I walked towards my destination, there was more and more light, and sometimes, you can hear God more clearly than at other times. However, you need to be on the right path to begin with-you have to be on the way to God. Where there is darkness, light will come and the darkness can not stand against it. God's light will have the victory. The motto of Portsmouth, the city I spent the last 8 years in before starting this course, is "Heaven's light, our guide". I pray for the day everyone there would live by that motto.

Back to today! Quiet time today was based around Psalm 103, focusing on verses 8 to 12: "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.". This is another great reminder of God's love for each one of us. He has every right to deal with us according to the way we have treated Him-in that we have rejected Him, and abandoned His authority. It is the best thing on Earth to know, with your heart, not just your head, that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8). As I continue with this course, I find myself more and more enamoured with God. Before this course, I had a safe life, with a job where people liked me, and a great social life, but being here has already helped me experience more of what really matters than I remember for quite some time: God's love and his voice in my life. I don't think I could ever put in to words the way I am feeling right now. Everything here is just so right. And I wonder: why me? Why has God seen fit to bring me to this place, while billions of others suffer. I don't know why, in a way, but I know in this course I'll have opportunities to help some of thos less advantaged as me, and that will be great too. Also, I think: why not me? God's love is for everyone, and I was as much a person with my back to God as anyone else. I don't deserve any of this because of anything I've done, it is all down to who God is and what He wants for my life. I just pray I can do the things He wants me to, and that I will be the person He wants me to be.

We then had our second 'session' of sung worship. I appreciated this very much. I once heard a sermon where the preacher asked the question "Why would God encourage us to worship Him?", and then went on to explain that it is for our benefit, not just God's. We have all been made to worship. God has given us the freedom to choose what we worship. Some choose money, some power, some chocolate! However, we only find the true meaning of worship when we worship the creator of all the good things: God Himself. During the worship today, something happened which I have almost come to expect during sung worship times for me-I can't remember more than one or two times in the last few months where it hasn't happened: tears started streaming down my face again. I'm certainly not unhappy during these time of sung worship. They are tears of joy and a sign of my awe of God. As I just mentioned, I find it simply incredible that He would single me out for such remarkable experience. I would love for each one of you reading this to know the joy of coming close to your maker, the one who gives meaning to your life, and can set you free from the past, doubt, guilt, regrets, and anything else that may hinder your relationship with him. The other thing that happened was that I had a real sense of wanting to fly while worshiping. It wasn't enough to be confined to the floor. I wanted to worship in three dimensions. It bought to mind the title of an album released a few years ago by the worship leader of my church in Portsmouth: "Let Go: Learn to Fly". I think I am now learning what the title really is talking about. (Just in case you are wondering, I didn't actually fly today!)

The quiet time and sung worship made me feel hugged by God-in His arms and being given this time to rest. Again, I just hope that you will be able to have your own experiences with God that will help you to feel His love too. I later likened this time to being like a milkshake: bubbly, full of flavour, and sweet.

Then at about 11am, we started our first session on Descipleship. We heard how Christianity is not just about affirming beliefs, i.e. intellectual ascent, but it is about following Jesus in your life: his ways, deeds and experiences should be what we are aiming to see in our lives too. I thought of the phrase "Your lifestyle over His Lordship?". Do you really want to pick an easy life over the one that has been hand picked by the one who loves you, and accepts you no matter what you do? The course leader mentioned an example of a trapeze artist letting go, and being caught by their partner on another trapeze. If we can't fully let go of the things that we are holding on to, we can't let God take hold of us fully, and know what it is to have Him in control of our direction. This again got me thinking of "Let go: Learn to Fly".

Our practical task today was to think about, then write down a few things that we felt we should give up now we are here. We then had to nail the pieces of paper we wrote our lists on to a wooden cross we have in the classroom. The nail I chose had dried up bits of paint on it. When I hammered the nail in to the wood, the paint fell off the nail. I took this as a visual reminder of the nails that went in to the hands of Jesus on the cross: even the nails that were used by humanity to fix their maker to a murder weapon were washed in His blood. On the cross, Jesus said "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34). He is so willing to forgive us for anything we have done, even to the point of forgiving us for killing Him.

The last example of the day we were shown was an acorn. The leader explained that he does not see the acorn, he sees the potential for a huge tree, firmly rooted and with many branches, producing fruit. He said he wants each of us to know that in our lives too.

The afternoon shaped up quite similarly to yesterday: I got a bit of a work out cleaning the toilets (and I actually got to clean the toilets today, not just the floors), and then I played football for a couple of hours. In the first activity, I once again found myself realising how blessed I am in my life, and in the second, I discovered I might be quite good as a goal keeper! One of the reasons I chose to do this course was to change my lifestyle and get some exercise, so it is nice to find out that I can actually be quite good at something to do with football!

Dinner was also amazing. Thankfully the weather was good enough to be able to sit outside. I sat, and saw rabbits and pheasants in the field I was in, as well as a wide variety of trees and plants. God is so amazing. I've left my job, and ended up living in a magnificent mansion, surrounded by beautiful nature. Things that other strive their whole life to attain, but often burn out before they reach their goal. And what's more, those are just added extras on this course. I'm also getting great teaching and many opportunities to serve, and I'm meeting a mixture of fascinating people, all with great stories of their own.

I really ought to have written this on my laptop rather than my phone-I think my fingers might recover after a night's rest though! Thanks again for reading. I understand there may be quite a lot to read through here. I hope it is worth it. I'd like it that one day after I have finished the course, I can revisit this time through these postings too. Please feel free to add a comment to today's posting.


"Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved."